Always 10 Minutes “Fashionably Late”, Or…?

Posted under I am Always Late on Monday 9 May 2011 at 10:32 pm

Some of us are lucky to mainly have more or less punctual people around, the people who value their time and the time of others. Some of us have two-three occasional latecomers around, who are very often late and make other people nervous waiting for quite long time. And there are  sometimes real chronic latecomers who are always late and mainly do not feel any guilt and always find reasons to justify such behavior of theirs. Some of them justify their habit of being late by so called “being fashionably late” for 10-15 minutes. But is this always just a point of fashion, or can there be something else behind such behavior?

Choose to be lateThe truth is: many experts are convinced in the fact that those who are always “fashionably” late actually consciously choose to be late and make other wait. Julie Morgenstern, one of the famous specialists on time management and the problems of chronic lateness, says that there are very conscious reasons behind being always 10-15 minutes late.

If you are literally always 10 minutes late, it’s psychological,” she says. What can be the most common reasons behind such behavior? Be it a search for receiving love and respect from other people, or an attempt to underline own importance, or an approach to showing how busy you are, or a way to crate a new crisis-like situation and receive an adrenalin rush, be sure that other people will not be willing to wait for you always and without questions. And no excuses like traffic jams, stolen money or broken car will work for you.

It is interesting that in many situations, being “fashionably late” also applies to many other issues and activities. For example, some people like being a little late with finalizing their monetary issues, like paying their debts or rent. Those who have this unhealthy habit, or those who have to deal with the type of people who always choose to be late, should be reminded (or remind the latecomers) that in order to live a happy and successful life, it is a must to honor your commitments, to show respect to other people, and show up on time. Otherwise people will tend to avoid you, and your bad habit can cause you your job, your partner, and possibly your happy life.

Three Important Steps On The Way To Overcoming Your Tardiness

Posted under I am Always Late on Friday 14 August 2009 at 10:15 pm

TardinessAs I have already said, many of those people who are chronically late or tardy have a tendency to justify their behavior by various outside factors. In other words, it is difficult for them to be honest with themselves and recognize the problem. That is why they go on looking for reasons and making up excuses for their improper behavior. However, there are times or certain situations, when these people start feeling sad or embarrassed because of their chronic tardiness. In such moments, there’s a great opportunity for them to begin working on changing their personality and giving up bad habit of being always late.

If you are one of those tarides, you should try changing your chronic tardiness and lateness in three steps. According to Diana Delonzor, the best option for you is to begin with monitoring closely your daily activities and write down, how many times you were late due to really important outside reasons and influences. Then, the expert recommends to recall all those regretful and embarrassing moments connected with your being late, as well as numerous uncompleted tasks, wrong steps, missed opportunities, canceled projects and so on. In order to acknowledge the problem you should fully understand negative consequences of your tardiness and lateness.

The second step is changing your mind and attitude toward punctuality. You should understand that being always late is nothing else but your personal choice, which takes source from the way you precept this world and look at your environment. To change your idea about chronic lateness and punctuality, you should look at the situation with the eyes of other people. Would you like the others making you wait all the time or breaking their promises? Will you still value and respect such people? It can be helpful to talk about your problem with someone you trust, with  a good friend or a relative who can give you an objective feedback on your usual behavior.

Finally, the third step is going into action and starting making some practical changes in your life. Rewarding yoruself for every successful attempt of not being late  is one of the most effective practical techniques, which can be generally used wen trying to change any bad behavior. Besides, you can punish youself every time when you are not punctual. For example, you can say your friends that you will pay for their meals every time you are late for a meeting or a party. This technique may work real great! Finally, you can ask people around you to assist and encourage you when you manage to be on time. Positive reaction of the people you love can be an excellent motivator for you to start changing yourself more effectively.

One of the Leading Reasons of Our Being Always Late: Procrastination

Posted under Procrastination on Wednesday 20 August 2008 at 11:24 pm

In college, when I used to receive a task to write an essay and bring it to my instructor in 7 days, I was usually saying to myself: “Well, I have a plenty of time, I’ll be back to this assignment later on”. Two or three days after I used to think: “Maybe I should start dealing with the paper already?” The fifth day was always critical: by that time the necessity to start working on the assignment had been pressing a lot, therefore, I used to try imitating the work on the essay by creating a new file in my PC and looking through some related pages in the course book or in Internet. In the end of the ends, in the majority of the situations I was getting to the point in around 2-3 hours before the deadline. Chronic exhaustion, stresses, lack of success and personal progress, low self-esteem – those were the outcomes of my usual practice to put things off all the time.

ProcrastinationDo I need to mention, in how many other ways the habit to procrastinate can affect your life? People can lose their businesses and fortunes, lose their friendships and destroy their lives because of procrastination. Unfortunately, a real danger of the problem of chronic procrastination has not been fully recognized by our society yet. Moreover, many specialists tend to connect this problem with time management and inability of a procrastinator to plan his/her time. This is a great misinterpretation of this problem, and trying to help procrastinators by giving them recommendations to improve their time management skills is a big mistake!

Some experts tend to define procrastination as “an addictive disorder”, or simply as an addiction. Yes, all procrastinators do have a strong addiction: they try to escape from doing the things they do not want or hate doing by one or another reason. Therefore, they choose to postpone doing things, like other addicts use substances to postpone dealing with mental or psychological problems they face. As a solution for the problem of putting things off all the time, many psychologists offer looking for a reason of your procrastination and trying to eliminate it. Well, do you believe that it is really going to work? No way! Chronic procrastination is something like alcoholism or drug abuse: will an alcoholic stop drinking if he finds the reason that has brought him to drinking?

As I could observe, all chronic procrastinators have a cyclic way of living with their problem. Usually, when they figure out that their life has become unmanageable and their habit of putting things off is getting out of their hand, they start feeling guilty about their helplessness or not doing anything to change their habit. They check out information on the net or look for some books and articles related to the problem, learn all those easy tips on how to get rid of chronic procrastination, and make up their mind to start a new life without procrastination. Next morning they make a list of the things thy need to do, schedule everything very precisely and feel very proud of their work! Yes, sometimes they even have enough of willpower to complete some first tasks on that list! Finally, they think: “Hey, that was a good start! I got a great progress!” And after this – everything goes on the same way as it was before: panic before the deadlines in school, doing the work in the last minute, being late and frustrated.

This example is quite an illustrative picture. Real chronic procrastination is a very hard problem – probably, the hardest one that we will have to fight with. Getting rid of this terrible habit is connected with a very responsible approach to SAYING what you are going to do and DOING what you have said. That is why a huge motivation will be necessary. But I’ll tell you what: do not wait till you have “a dentist situation”, when your delays of going to the dentist have led you to the necessity to remove all your decaying teeth and replace them with implants. Getting the job done on time is much easier and more pleasant, isn’t it?

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