I am Always Late

We know a lot about bad habits, especially about bad habits that other people have. Those can include various bad eating habits, smoking and other unhealthy habits, bad behaviors like being always late, being impolite or show no respect to other people’s feelings, and many many more. Very often we notice and take offense at bad habits of the people around us, but don’t we have bad habits, too? “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”  the Bible teaches us. Below, there’s a list of quite common bad habits which many of us have but not many of us know and admit having those.

• Looking for ways to pass the responsibility to other people. It is quite natural for people to avoid responsibility, but many of us tend to develop this bad habit to the most severe form of it, when they tend to fail admitting own fault and own responsibility even for certain personal things. It is necessary to always properly evaluate any situation and learn to admit own mistakes or own carelessness. People who do not blame others in their own problems always make an impression of strong individuals.
• Imposing our own standards on other people and attempting to judge other people accordingly. Many of us fail to understand that the things which seem to be good or appropriate to us can be bad and improper to other people. Therefore, it’s essential to learn an easy idea: so many men, so many minds, and it is possible to understand the same situation under many different angles. Do not judge or criticize people who understand the same thing in a different way!
• Getting drowned in unnecessary sarcasm and negative comments. Many people are trying to show that they are witty and cool by sharing their negative thoughts, making fun and even insulting the people around them, etc. This is a very improper way to show how awesome and great you are.
• Failing to express our appreciation and gratitude. Most of us do not say “Thank you!” even for the things which do deserve appreciation. This is one of the most common bad habits which simply shows impoliteness of the person.
• Failing to always listen to what other people say. It is one of the most common bad habits, which is very often linked to one other behavior pattern: talking and thinking only about own problems. Learn to listen to the others, ask questions about their problems or opinions, observe their reactions and behavior, and you’ll understand this world much better and will definitely win a reputation of a better person.
• Trying to win in everything, no matter what. A lot of people among us are spending absolutely useless efforts for being the first and the best in all possible circumstances. Very often, this habit puts such people in quite stupid and even funny situations.

A lack of control, inability to stick to plans and schedules, being absent-minded and irresponsible for the time of other people who are waiting – those are several most common reasons why people turn into chronically late and make the life of their friends and loved ones somehow harder. Being always late is very often linked to inability to take control of own bad habits like procrastination, laziness, putting things off all the time and trying to avoid doing what we have to do but do not want to. On the other hand, those are the habits which are really hard to get rid of despite of all vows and promises we usually give to ourselves. What to do and how to take control on ourselves and our bad habits?

Undoubtedly, these situations are very often complicated and not linked only to bad habits alone. In many cases, our bad habits are being formed as a response to certain personal difficulties, or certain problems with the surrounding environment, both physical and social. The sad fact is: many of us do not understand negative consequences of such habits or behaviours, and one of the greatest ways for obtaining control of our self and changing our bad behaviors is analyzing and understanding the consequences. Below, there are several more tips and tactics on how to change our bad habits and take more control of our life in order to become a better and more responsible person.

• Start with small changes and keep your goals attainable. Do not start working on changing your behavior completely or trying to plant new habits in your daily life – you’ll most likely fail. For example, 2 days a week start doing more things than you usually do, or plan doing 2-3 tasks that you were avoiding to do for many months. If you are trying to learn a foreign language or get involved in other activities, schedule small lessons (not more than 30-40 minutes) 2-3 times a week, and do whatever possible to stick to this schedule. Otherwise, what kind of a person you are? Get real about the things, do not try to go so far, but at the same time do not let yourself stand on one place all the time.
• Change the context of your daily actions for combating your bad habits. Starting a new routine is reported to be very effective for changing certain behaviors and bad habits. For example, if you are fighting with a habit of eating too much and gaining more and more weight, change your route from work to home and, instead of talking a bus and heading home for a dinner, take a walk and reward yourself with buying yourself a book in a local bookstore or buying a new widely advertised hand cream or other type of cosmetics. Try to change the context and switch your attention to something else – this may help.
• Connect two activities together. This is one more excellent strategy which can help us start making things we avoid or delay doing. For example, if you always have no time or forget brushing your teeth in the morning, you can connect this activity, for example, with your morning shower. The best way would be to link the activity you avoid or delay with the activity you enjoy doing very much, in this situation it is possible to receive the best outcomes!

Finally, we came to the third question you need to ask yourself before you start working on your punctuality and abilities to manage your time effectively. Ask yourself: why do I need to change my behavior and do everything possible to stop my being chronically late? Why do I want it now and why have I never wanted this before? If it is not the first attempt of yours to fight with chronic lateness, then ask yourself: why have I failed before? Was I not too patient or didn’t I have enough of willpower? Also, ask yourself, are you ready for this hard struggle against your bad habits? Finally, make it clear for yourself, what kind of reward you will have in case if your performance is good and your negative habits are gone with the wind.

Practical experience of many specialists in time management shows that having a worthy goal and a strong and clear motivation for giving up a habit of being chronically late is a very important stimulating factor which usually brings to achieving very good results. Let me tell you a story: there was a guy, an incorrigible latecomer, who was always depressed and never cared about his own life. He has forgotten the ambitions of his youth and was spending his time as an accountant in a small private lawyer’s office. Together with his wife, they used to manage to make ends meet, but everything the family could afford is going to their vacation once a year.

However, one day he met one of his old friends, a successful businessman in his late 30s, who offered our loser a new occupation. “I remember that you were always very good in creative arts”, the businessman said, “so join my designer’s team and get a taste of real life.” This was a new beginning for the former accountant, who very soon proved to be absolutely great in designing interiors and decorating apartments. One of the first things he learned was being always on time for his meetings with the clients, otherwise his incomes would not be that impressive. Less then in one year he bought a prestigious house for his family, and the next summer he paid for his sons’ vacation in Europe.

Certainly, breaking any habit requires recognition of the problem, recognition that the habit is bad and having a strong desire to extinguish it. Take your time and think more, in what ways your chronic lateness affects your life? Didn’t you feel embarrassed and responsible for the negative effects of your habit on the life of the people around you? How many interesting things and activities you have failed to do due to your habit to procrastinate and put the things off? How many opportunities you have missed and how many of those you will possibly miss in the future? Find the answers on these questions and convince yourself that you need to get rid of your perpetual lateness and procrastination.

Maybe your reason is not too clear for you yet – it is fine. But remember that having a great long-run objective is the most important reason to start working on your punctuality and the most effective stimulative factor for our success. Get support from your friends and close people, visualize possible rewards for your persistence and willpower. Finally, value your future! The changes you will experience in your life are really worth the efforts you are going to spend for breaking you chronic bad habits, but if you do not really want to change your tendency to be always late, do not even spend your time for reading these pages. If you are ready for immediate action, have a steady unbated perseverance and feel strong enough to start our journey – follow me…