I am Always Late

Many of us know that being always late is very common to those people who also have another bad habit: chronic lying. We all lie from time to time, some of us do this more often, and some of us do that less often. But chronic liars are those who use lying for making their way through, and usually do not care at all about how their lies harm other people. Chronic liars are living their lives thinking that they have some superior social skills, and most of those are convinced that their lies are never revealed. Since such people give no or very little concern about the feelings or time of other people, being always late is something absolutely acceptable and very common for them.

There are a few types of liars. Along with chronic liars, experts also define compulsive liars, pathological liars, or habitual liars. For all of them, lying is a normal reaction or an almost reflexive response to everything that’s going on around them. Chronic lying usually develops from childhood, and in adulthood telling lies seems the only right way to get through life. Lying people are trying to create around them a special atmosphere which is different from the reality. Such atmosphere brings them more comfort and makes them happier, that is why they are lying even though sometimes they know that lying actually can not bring to anything good. Liars are usually sociopaths who know how to manipulate people and achieve their most daring goals.

Why do they chose the way of lying? Some chronic liars can not accept themselves as they are. So they are ready for anything in order to create another personality of themselves, a visibly better, more attractive and more successful one. This can be a result of various factors. Some people have too low self-esteem and they are lying in order to look better in the eyes of others. Some people turn into chronic liars as a result of chronic stresses and negative emotions. For example chronic lying can be caused by severe criticism or forced social isolation that a person had to go through earlier in the life. Sometimes chronic lying can emerge as a result of a painful break-up or one-way love. People who lived that through use lying as a tool to protect themselves against possible failures in their social or love life.

Other chronic liars start lying because they can not stand on certain current events or relationships in their life. For example, a teenage son can start lying because he can not stand on living with his drinking parents, or if he feels embarrassed with a low social or economic status of his family. In this case, lying plays a role of protective mechanism against possible negative emotions and stresses caused by the mentioned factors. Lying allows creating a new personality, with a new interesting life and without the mentioned problems. Very often teenagers and young people turn into chronic liars as a result of a certain abuse by parents, teachers, peers, colleagues, bosses, and other people around them.

It is quite hard to cope with those people whose lying has turned into their second nature, and it can be twice hard if chronic liars are also chronic latecomers. The main goal is to make the person understand that his or her behavior hurts people around them and can end up with very serious consequences like ruining relationships, etc. Unfortunately, it is always very hard to make a chronic liar recognize the problem and start fighting against it. It can be effective to deal with chronic and compulsive lying by using the services of professionals and use counseling or other types of therapy.

For the last decade the issues of electronic surveillance and monitoring of employees at work became the focus of researches and management specialists. Electronic surveillance means using measures of electronic control over the work of employees, like video cameras, automatic devices monitoring telephone conversations or Internet usage, devices of automatic registration of entry and exit, electronic time control, etc. Many practical researchers speak for using electronic surveillance and monitoring at work. They say it can be a very effective tool for controlling the employees, catching those who are always late, detecting workers’ faults, idleness and frauds. “People won’t steal or slack off if they know they’re being watched. The average employee is productive 30 minutes out of an hour. They spend the rest of the time chatting, making personal telephone calls, getting something to drink, or going to the restroom,” says Maggie Morgan, a specialist of Sentry Surveillance in Kennesaw, Ga. (Electronic Surveillance in the Workplace, Norwich Uni.)

But, of course, specialists underline practical negativism and rejection of using daily electronic monitoring from the side of the employees. People like to be trusted and mostly pay back for this with good productivity and decent behavior at work. Many employees find measures of electronic control and surveillance to be the acts, which derogate from their human dignity and directly infringe the privacy rights of a person. Such opposition received immediate support by legislative regulations. In a number of European countries, like Austria, there are some restrictions for using measures of electronic surveillance at work. In order to establish any form of electronic control of employees, business organizations need to receive a special permission from the works council. Similar laws, establishing privacy protection regulations, were attempted to be adapted in our country, in particular, in California, but they were vetoed by the Governor at the early stages.

In any way, recently the demand and popularity of using different means of electronic surveillance in the USA is firmly growing. As the survey of NBC Nightly News shows, about 40% of American small companies use video cameras to control the employees during their working hours, (Electronic Surveillance at the Workplace, Norwich Uni.). Now more than 80% of the companies control Internet usage of the employees. Also, more than 50% of the companies monitor telephone conversations of the personnel, when in 2001 this index was only 9% (2005 Electronic Surveillance Survey). Besides, the researches underline that recently the sensitivity of the employees to electronic control and monitoring is decreasing (including those who are always late), and now the personnel becomes more and more tolerant to the measures of electronic surveillance at work. Especially after the events of Sept. 11, people started finding electronic surveillance and monitoring to be very efficient for preventing some dangerous criminal or immoral intentions of the employees.

Now many employers practice notifying their employees about the periods of using electronic surveillance and monitoring. Recently, the employers firmly extend usage of this type of control for keeping the threads of business in their hands. “To help control the risk of litigation, security breaches and other electronic disasters, employers should take advantage of technology tools to battle people problems—including the accidental and intentional misuse of computer systems, telephones and other electronic resources,” Nancy Flynn, director of a research project, commented (2005, Electronic Surveillance Survey). Of course, using the means of electronic surveillance at workplace is acceptable practice. Moderate usage of electronic surveillance, especially in small business, where it is much easier to control everything personally can assist in catching chronic latecomers, chronic lazy workers or those who do not want to do their job properly. Some control by electronic surveillance can be reasonable at large developed enterprises or production plants, but it must be done carefully and periodically. However, in the offices or factories, where bosses demonstrate trust to their employees and use minimal amounts of electronic surveillance, the output and organizational climate are a lot better.

I believe that virtually every one of us has a friend or an acquaintance who is always late. Some of the ‘luckiest’ have a spouse or a close family member who has a habit of being up to 1-2 hours late and make other people wait for him or her. The sad thing is: sometimes such chronic latecomers feel no guilt or remorse for their bad habit thinking that they had more important things to do or more significant things to think over while others are waiting for them. Sounds familiar? I can imagine how much anger, discomfort and stress you can feel when you have to deal with such kind of guys.

Below, there is a list of helpful tips for those who have to stand on the habits of chronically late people, who have to deal with them closely and fall victims of their improper behavior. I hope you will find those helpful and useful.

1. Accept the situation as it is and get prepared for waiting for your late-coming counterpart. In order not to waste your time, you can get prepared for waiting by taking things to be done with you. You can use this time for scheduling your meetings and planning your activities, looking for useful info online or chatting online with your friends, reading a book or a newspaper, making all sorts of arrangements, proofreading documents, etc. etc. Also, it is possible to arrange your meeting with a latecomer in a bookstore or a shopping mall, where you can use your time more effectively than just idle waiting.

2. Be prepared for the latecomer to fuss around and bring out the most amazing (and always very stupid) reasons why they were late. They can blame their pets, their business partners, their relatives, traffic, acts of God – whatever, to justify their being late (again and again). Try to act neutral in this kind of situation, do not show openly that you do not buy their reasons, but be kind and solicitous. Do not display your anger or disappointment: this can lead to more serious and dramatic consequences.

3. Do not nag, do not argue and do not lecture chronic latecomers. As a rule, they are kings of arguing and they can easily outlast you bringing more and more arguments. Nagging and lecturing will not be helpful as well because by doing so you are showing that you actually care and make importance of this nasty habit of your counterpart. The best strategy in such case can be showing that you are actually independent on their time and do not rely on their being on time. This can work out (at least some day one day;) )

4. If your counterpart is a “severe latecomer” (always late for work, sometimes late for flights, etc.), you should clearly specify the time for how long you’re going to wait. Do not feel guilty for leaving without any warning if you waited for the specified amount of time. Finally, if you are certain that your counterpart will be late, you can tell him or her to actually come 30 minutes earlier, or you can show up for the meeting 30 minutes later. But this strategy puts you at risk of being late yourself.