About

Posted under on Thursday 17 July 2008 at 7:08 pm

A LatecomerThis everything started about two years ago. One day I was talking on the phone to Sam, a good friend of mine. She was going to organize a picnic and asked a lot of people to join. “I can not invite you,” she told me. “You are always late and I can not make fifteen guys wait until you come.” It sounded too opened and too frustrating. I knew that I had a problem of being always late, but hearing such a thing from my friend was like being labeled “a wet blanket”. In that moment I suddenly remembered a terrible scene when one of my first boyfriends Spence was about to break up with me. He told me that he’d got tried of waiting for me downstairs for hours while I am getting ready to go out. Another boyfriend of mine (Larry) couldn’t make it even for more than three dates – he stopped calling me without any explanations. I really liked that guy a lot, but I still felt too lazy to start looking for ways to change something in me.

After that talk to Sam I did some serious thinking and realized a lot of things I had never been concerned about before. Being always late was actually only the top of the pyramid of my personal problems. I was a terrible procrastinator, and putting the most important things off was something absolutely usual for me. Because of my inability to organize myself properly, I was frequently missing the deadlines for submission of my written assignments and presentations in college. I analyzed my daily behaviors and figured out how many avoidable and emotionally exhausting stresses I used to have as a result of my habit to procrastinate. I realized that if I didn’t do something really big to change my chronic procrastination habit and start managing my stuff more effectively, I would lose my friends, lose all good prospects for my future and lose my whole life.

I have to confess that it took some time for me to summon the courage and admit that I really had a problem with controlling my own time. However, as I have learned later on from different books on time management, I was lucky not to get into a real trouble in order to understand that I need to change myself. I mean, many people start looking for the ways to improve own skills on managing their time in those situations, when they are under a great risk of failing their exams, or when they are about to be fired for poor performance at work. Therefore, I decided to create this site as a helping hand for all readers of mine, who are facing the same difficulties and need some piece of advice on gaining full control on their own time.

People say that it is possible to get rid of a bad habit for 30 days. I know from my own experience that it is not always that fast and easy. On the pages of this site I am going to open some secrets of how to get the most out of your time, maximize your potential and never be late with anything again. Here you will be able learn how to analyze and prioritize the things you need to do, how to organize your day and spend your working hours in the most productive way. Mastering these easy rules and recommendations of mine will not require extra efforts form the majority of my readers. But changing your habits and developing good skills in time management will pay you back very soon with the opportunity to enjoy the benefits of more organized approach to your daily routine. Do not procrastinate anymore: it is time to start living a better life and making yourself a better person.

7 Comments »

  1. Comment by Jon — August 23, 2008 @ 3:24 am

    Hi, thank you so much for making this site. I read all of your posts. I feel bad for saying this but it feels so good to know that there are other people out there that share the exact same problem as me. You’re a really great person for making this site to try to help people, email me and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with the site….although as someone suffering from being ALWAYS late, procrastination, and extreme distractability i don’t know how much help i could be…but i would love to try to help you out with this site as much as i can…

  2. Comment by Stephanie — November 20, 2008 @ 8:53 am

    Thank you so much for creating this site. Your story is similiar to my own. I can relate to how your boyfriends felt waiting on you. I have been struggling with my boyfriends lateness for over 1.5 years and we have almost broken up several times over it. He has lost all other girlfriends over his time management issues in the past. He is faithful, compassionate, loving, romantic and amazingly supportive. I worry his time management issues could destroy our relationship and he does not know what to do to change a lifetime of bad habits. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated, as we love each other and he wants to make me happy, but just does not know where to start.

    Thank you,
    Steph

  3. Comment by Geraldine — March 15, 2010 @ 1:52 pm

    Thank you for this website! I am in serious trouble at work for tardiness and poor work performance. I have tried everything and do believe there may be some psychological issues there, too. However, I do not know why I am always late even when I want to be on time. Reading your first few enteries starting from the current day going back has helped a bit. For one, I know I under estimate how long things will take me and how much time it will take me to get to work, or to an event. I have so much potential and the last thing I want to do is to continue failing horribly. So I am really working hard on this – keep posting. A lot of us out there need to learn from you!

  4. Comment by Phil — June 2, 2010 @ 8:49 pm

    Thanks for the tips, I’m starting to notice that others are becoming annoyed by my lateness. I need to read more of your posts, but I wonder if I’ve got something slightly different going on. You see, I don’t care if I’m late. It doesn’t bother me to wait for someone, I feel that there are far more important things to be worried and stressed about. I suppose I should qualify this statement to say that there are some things that I consider important enough not to be late for, Dr’s appointments, Trains, Flights, Weddings, but for social occasions or meetings at work, whats 10mins in a whole day. I’ve been labelled as rude in the past because I’ve been late, but I don’t care, generally I’m a pretty laid back kind of person, and nothing gets me too bothered, as far as turning up early, on time or late, I think it will all even out in the end. If someelse has a problem with me being late, I see this as their problem. Although again it’s important to qualify, that being 30mins late for a 5min meeting is not a good idea, that being organised is important, and trying your hardest to stay on task is essential to remaining employed.

  5. Comment by Leigh — October 3, 2010 @ 7:53 pm

    I have a very late friend who is typically one hour late. I’d always made allowances for her behaviour and tried to rationalize it but I finally snapped when she left me AND my family waiting. When I alluded to the fact her response was,”well, isn’t it a good thing we turned up?” – I was actually waiting for an apology. It also became apparent through the conversation that she and her family had headed to a restaurant for a meal pretty much around the time we were supposed to get together. In short, no attempt had been made to be there on time. I was deeply hurt by her careless attitude towards not just me but more importantly my children. Like I said, I finally did say something about it and now the woman in question won’t even acknowledge my presence at school pickup! She has diluted my complaint by saying that I was “condescending” because I explained that I use the knowledge of her tardiness in my favour by scheduling things so I would be waiting too long. I call it,’planning my day’. Another example: she left her children with me to go shopping with her husband; she was supposed to come back in 1 1/2hrs only she turned up 5 1/2 hours later!!!For all you tardy people out there this isn’t just about you. Leaving someone waiting is disrespectful, hurtful and selfish and really, the least you can do is apologize!

  6. Comment by Lily — December 9, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

    Thank you for your blog. My husband just informed me that “things need to change” in our relationship if I can’t manage to be on time and take the kids on time to school. I’ve tried many things, so instead of 20 minutes late I’m 5 minutes late…. still late. I’ve been underemployed and with few friends. Thank you for giving me a sliver of hope.

  7. Comment by Mr. Punctual — December 22, 2010 @ 5:46 pm

    (HA! I should be packing to go visit family (they aren’t waiting), but I felt I should quickly search about my lack of self-control; found this site and now I’m behind my own self created schedule, haha thanks… Oh well, I wouldn’t have found this place if I hadn’t become distracted.)

    1st off thanks for taking the time and effort in making this site… Being late is a huge problem for lots of people, myself included. I’ve noticed one thing that drew my attention immediately upon reading some of the material; I did not know you (the author) are a female. I just assumed this was from a male’s POV, which sort of differs in mindset compared to women. Either gender still suffers from said problems, which can equally affect their quality of life. The reason I note the woman author “issue,” is that a lot of your points seem to speak directly or make example of women’s tardiness and I thought, “oh boy this guy is either stereotypically Asian or biased,” glad to see I was incorrect. :-)

    That said, I feel that may people, such as myself are a hybrid mix of the 7 “types” that you listed (How to Start: The First Question to Be Answered). I am not a specific “type” of late-comer, but a mix of; evader, rationalizer, and rebel. I think what’s missing is that these “types” are actually what make up someone’s “personality.” Ambiguous as it sounds, I know many people who are nearly on time, all the time. They are also the OCD personality type, who must have complete control over everything thing in their and other’s lives. They abide by the “rules” of society and don’t break many laws bc that’s “wrong,” such as with speeding, which nearly everyone does. On the flip-side to this, there are people that are casually late, but never extremely late. For me I don’t see a huge deal (rationalizing) in being a little tardy IF and only if the situation allows for it.
    _These bad “habits” are also learned or a situational adaptation, for instance: I have many buddies that I go out with; many of them are also late. At that time, I was usually on-time, or casually late (late, but not offensively). There were a few people in the group that were always late and usually “offensively late” as in, WE agreed to meet at XYZ time and then go out on the town. Normally I wouldn’t care about them being late, but the situation was one of critical time bc the night is short and the weekends are even shorter. They would show up 30-45min, even hrs late, habitually. This was extremely annoying and offending… So to counter act this, I too “learned” to be late, since if they aren’t going to show up on time, then why should I? In the end this is about CONTROL. Your perception of time and mine are not the same, nor do we individually value our time in the same regards. Some people are innately impatient (unnecessarily) and feel then need to make note of it in situations that don’t call for being on-time to the extreme. Waiting a few minutes won’t really change anything in the grand scheme of things.

    I don’t see the problem with being “late” if the situation (key) doesn’t require you to be absolutely on-time. If we’re going to pre-game before going out or the like, and there’s already people hanging out and we’re not supposed to leave till say 10:30pm, what’s the big deal if I show up at 10:25? Or say for work, if I get there 10min “late,” WHO CARES? Nothing is going on immediately at work as soon as your get there. It’s about control, folks… when I’m 10mintues late there’s a problem, but when I’m on-time “work” or my boss or whomever is requiring me to stay 10mintues later when my shift is up, why is that acceptable? I’m not getting paid for that extra 10minutes, thus I have every right to leave. It’s about POWER and control over people in the work setting. Sure, being on time is a great habit to have, but stringent requirements on people’s time when it doesn’t yield any more or less productivity is nothing but controlling. If I show up 10-15minutes late, get all my work done and extra work done; WHO CARES (!?)… Apparently some people do and you have to abide by their rules if you want to stay employed.

    I’ll conclude by saying that, in general, most people are late bc it’s about them having some kind of control over their time; time is life and life is time. Requiring someone to be always on time, isn’t really about the need to do XYZ at that critical moment; it’s about having control over others by placing time requires on them and expecting them to meet said requirements. I don’t like being controlled or coerced, nor do I like placing said requirements on others, IF the situation doesn’t call for it. I feel annoyed that I cannot be on-time for my own sake. As if I’m letting myself down and not meeting a goal of simply being on time to whatever situation. It’s a priority issue; I have never missed a flight, interview, wedding etc., the more important things in life; the rest, bah it can wait. I value my time enough that I have a lax attitude about it (rationalization) and don’t see what the big deal is… this is a problem and I know it. My goal is to become more in control of myself, which means being on-time if I make it a goal/challenge… okay I’ve said enough already.

    Thanks OP!

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