I am Always Late

A lack of control, inability to stick to plans and schedules, being absent-minded and irresponsible for the time of other people who are waiting – those are several most common reasons why people turn into chronically late and make the life of their friends and loved ones somehow harder. Being always late is very often linked to inability to take control of own bad habits like procrastination, laziness, putting things off all the time and trying to avoid doing what we have to do but do not want to. On the other hand, those are the habits which are really hard to get rid of despite of all vows and promises we usually give to ourselves. What to do and how to take control on ourselves and our bad habits?

Undoubtedly, these situations are very often complicated and not linked only to bad habits alone. In many cases, our bad habits are being formed as a response to certain personal difficulties, or certain problems with the surrounding environment, both physical and social. The sad fact is: many of us do not understand negative consequences of such habits or behaviours, and one of the greatest ways for obtaining control of our self and changing our bad behaviors is analyzing and understanding the consequences. Below, there are several more tips and tactics on how to change our bad habits and take more control of our life in order to become a better and more responsible person.

• Start with small changes and keep your goals attainable. Do not start working on changing your behavior completely or trying to plant new habits in your daily life – you’ll most likely fail. For example, 2 days a week start doing more things than you usually do, or plan doing 2-3 tasks that you were avoiding to do for many months. If you are trying to learn a foreign language or get involved in other activities, schedule small lessons (not more than 30-40 minutes) 2-3 times a week, and do whatever possible to stick to this schedule. Otherwise, what kind of a person you are? Get real about the things, do not try to go so far, but at the same time do not let yourself stand on one place all the time.
• Change the context of your daily actions for combating your bad habits. Starting a new routine is reported to be very effective for changing certain behaviors and bad habits. For example, if you are fighting with a habit of eating too much and gaining more and more weight, change your route from work to home and, instead of talking a bus and heading home for a dinner, take a walk and reward yourself with buying yourself a book in a local bookstore or buying a new widely advertised hand cream or other type of cosmetics. Try to change the context and switch your attention to something else – this may help.
• Connect two activities together. This is one more excellent strategy which can help us start making things we avoid or delay doing. For example, if you always have no time or forget brushing your teeth in the morning, you can connect this activity, for example, with your morning shower. The best way would be to link the activity you avoid or delay with the activity you enjoy doing very much, in this situation it is possible to receive the best outcomes!

Very often those people who are always late, who suffer from a habit of severe procrastinating and putting things off all the time, who have problems with time management and following schedules, also have difficulties with concentrating, focusing on certain ideas and, in particular, listening attentively to what others say. Being a good listener is actually not an easy thing, that is why specialists say that an average person when listening and observing others speaking does not perceive up to 75% of information which is possible to receive from what we see and hear. This includes the words that are being said, the tone of the voice, body language, and all other factors.

Many of us have no idea how many problems in our business and  personal life we could have avoided by becoming a better listener. In particular, learning such strategy as active listening can help us prevent many misunderstanding and communication failures. Below you can find some useful tips on how to become a better listener.

• Learn to switch from a passive listener to an active listener. Active listening is a key factor for achieving a better understanding of what people around you really are. To become an active listener, you should remember about so called CARE strategy:

– CONCENTRATION: focusing of what the speaker is talking about.

– ACKNOWLEDGMENT: displaying your sincere interest in what is being said.

– RESPONSE: ask questions and response on what is talked about with nods or affirmative words.

– EMPATHY: share your feelings and emotions with the speaker and the audience.

• Learn to pay attention on the speaker’s body language signs and analyze them. Body language, including body posture, movements, reactions, facial expressions and so on, could be very helpful to better understand what the speaker is trying to tell you and what does he/she feels about the things being said. Focusing on the body language will help you find out that many people tend to display alike body language signs, and also, understanding their body language will make other people feel secure and more opened to you.
• Learn to give your full attention to the speaker. Stop doing other things or activities when you are listening to someone. Try to imagine yourself in the shoes of the speaker: this is the best way to understand what is making the speaker say what he/she is trying to say. Imagine what you would do, say or think, and how you would react on one or other situation that is being talked about.
• Mirror the speaker’s ideas. It does not only mean restating the most important ideas of the speaker in your mind. It also means to support your communication with the speaker by saying the phrases like “It sounds to me like you …” or “I hear you’re saying that…” There’s hardly a tool like mirroring which can make communication more effective!
• Learn to notice little things. Remember that a big picture can be made of those little things.
• Learn not to interrupt. It is a very important skill which is pretty much rare nowadays. Let people talk and do not anxiously wait for your turn to talk. Instead, try to analyze the situation that is being talked about again and again, and learn to think not inwardly, but outwardly.
• Learn not to judge. Avoid displaying negative reaction and always choose positive approach to what is said at the first place. Be always open minded and do not pass judgment on the speaker.